


No Sleep Tonight

by florahowell



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Protective Mikasa Ackerman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 16:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahowell/pseuds/florahowell





	No Sleep Tonight

“It’s okay, Connie, I’ll finish it alone.” Mikasa turned to her comrade, while scrubbing one of the small, white plates in the sink clean. “It’s your turn on watch soon. I’m sure Sasha wants to have some dinner as well.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” The boy let go of the dishcloth, he was drying the already clean dishes with, and looked out of the tiny window, peeking at the girl standing outside in the garden with a shotgun in her hands. “God, she must be starving by now. I’d better go and relieve her before she loses it again.” 

“So, it’s my turn, I guess,” murmured Eren as he watched Connie leave. He put the pile of dirty plates he was holding on the counter. 

“Are you done cleaning the table?” asked Mikasa and turned away from the sink to face him. 

"Yes.” Eren nodded and unenthusiastically picked up the semi-moist cloth, that Connie had left behind. “Make sure that the dishes are spotless, or the Captain will give you some pretty hard time about it.” 

“The Captain couldn’t give me a hard time, even if he wanted to,” thought Mikasa, but she swallowed the words. She placed a clean plate in Eren’s hand and looked him up and down. “You didn’t eat much today.” 

Her expression remained neutral, but still, the boy could see the disapproval in her eyes. “I had some soup,” he replied quietly, his voice slightly annoyed. 

“You should eat more,” she insisted. “You need as much energy as possible.” 

Eren sighed and put a dry glass down on the counter a bit more vehemently then he’d intended to. “I thought we’ve already discussed this. Leave me alone already! I eat, drink, and sleep as much I want to. I don’t need you watching over me all the time.” 

“Are you upset because of me, or because you failed to complete the tasks Hange gave you today? – Again,” said Mikasa in a calm voice and checked the abused glass for cracks. 

Eren shrugged and cast his eyes on the ground. “I’m doing my best, alright? I just need more…” 

“Energy?” Mikasa turned her head to face him again and raised her eyebrows. 

“Time,” spat Eren. He hesitated for a moment, grabbed the slightly broken glass from the counter and threw it in the trash. He shot an angry look at the girl, slammed the dishcloth on the table and left the kitchen without saying another word. Mikasa just sighed and turned back to the sink to finish washing the dishes alone. 

* 

She was lying in bed wide awake, though it was probably almost midnight. She was worried about Eren and afraid that in a few days he would push himself to exhaustion. In the last couple of weeks, he had to transform and take part in different experiments almost every single day, and Mikasa could see that he was getting more and more drained. In addition, when he failed to complete a task, he lost his appetite, and the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he had some trouble with sleeping as well. 

She knew that there was a tremendous pressure on him to learn to control his titan abilities and make the most out of them, but he should think of himself too. “He won’t help humanity by working himself to death after all. He should know his limits by now and insist on having some rest if he feels like he needs it,” she thought. She wondered when will Eren be mature enough to keep himself alive without her help, but she was afraid that she already knew the disappointing answer to that question. 

Her concern was starting to turn into anger, when a sudden noise distracted her from her thoughts. She looked at Sasha and Historia, but her roommates didn’t seem to notice anything, the two girls were still fast asleep. She sat up in the bed, senses alert, her right hand already grabbing the handle of the small pocketknife on the bedside table. “Mikasa?” she heard the silent, familiar voice as the door opened with a quiet click, and Eren stuck his head in. The girl let the knife go, and took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to scare you,” he whispered, and checked if he had woken the two other girls in the room. He carefully tiptoed to Mikasa’s bed and sat down facing her. The circles under his weary eyes were darker and deeper than earlier today, his cheeks were sunken, and even in the dark he seemed pale and pasty. It shocked her that even though she was already concerned about him, she’d still failed to see how worn-out he actually was. “Is everything alright?” she asked softly, her voice anxious. 

There came no answer. The boy cast his eyes down and, after some hesitation, slowly slid his right hand forward on the bed, reaching for hers. As their fingers intertwined, he grabbed her upper arm with his free hand, and bent forward to rest his forehead on her shoulder. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and caressed the back of his head, her fingers digging into his hair softly. 

He pulled his legs under himself and leaned against her, tightening his grip around her arm, clutching onto it with both hands now. “I wanted to sleep,” he whispered against her chest. “I wanted to fall asleep, but I couldn’t.” 

“It’s okay, Eren,” she murmured, stroking his back gently. 

“No. No, it’s not,” he groaned, his breath hitching as he heaved a deep sigh. “It’s not okay,” he repeated even more quietly and hugged the girl’s arm so tight that it started to go numb. 

Mikasa carefully freed it and laid down, pulling him closer. She held him firmly with one hand, while caressing his cheek with the other. “It’s gonna’ be okay,” she whispered. 

Eren buried his face in her chest, his fists knotting into the soft material of her shirt. He winced painfully and slid down further in the bed. He pressed his cheek to her stomach, his arms locked around her waist tightly. 

She ran her hand through his hair, embracing him gently. She could feel his tears soaking her shirt, the arms around her holding on to her desperately. She felt a lump growing in her throat as well, but she swallowed it. She calmed herself and caressed Eren’s head again. She was looking at the ceiling, stroking his hair slowly, until she finally felt his muscles relax and his breathing become steady. About an hour later she could feel her eyelids become heavier – she remained wide awake thou. She also wanted to sleep that night, but she couldn’t.


End file.
